


Home

by Schattenfeuer



Series: Colors [2]
Category: Nightmare Harem (Visual Novel)
Genre: M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Reader-Insert, male!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25930489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattenfeuer/pseuds/Schattenfeuer
Summary: Your decision to stay comes with its own set of consequences. Some are easier to deal with than others.
Relationships: Noel/Reader
Series: Colors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881214
Kudos: 1





	Home

It was rare for you to get homesick, but when it happened, the mood struck hard enough to incapacitate you for days. All you could do at times like this was curl up in your bed and pull your blanket over your head to hide away the fact that you had been crying in secret. Three months had at first just sounded like a long time, but before you knew it, they had passed with the blink of an eye and then the day x was here, looming over your neck like the hangman’s sword. You could have gone home. But when you remembered the way he had looked at you, you found it impossible to do just that.

You were not naive, you know staying would and could spell all kinds of trouble for you, after all you opted to stay in a world you knew only vaguely the rules off, the few people you had interacted with over the span of three months had been lenient and you had little clues to go with. But you could not have turned a blind eye when you saw the way he had slumped together after directing your attention away from his angelic features, up to the copper coin hanging on the black velvet of the night sky that was the red moon. In the corner of your sight, you saw how he curled in on himself, looking just like the lost child that he was, transported back into a time where it had been his parents duty to protect and guide, instead they opted to abandon him. 

So you chose. And you stayed. And here you were, curled up into a ball of tense limbs underneath the heavy duvet, blindly staring out of your window at the clouds floating around Sky Castle like a milky halo. A childish part of you wondered what would happen if you actually dared to step over the edge, if you were able to bounce off the cottony surface of the clouds like on a feather mattress. As you crawled out of your bed, your blanket dragging after you like a veil, you were greeted by a cool breeze upon opening your window and stepping out onto your balcony, the clouds were so close, you could almost touch them. Reaching out mindlessly, you could feel coldness wettening your fingertips, a welcome distraction from the longing binding your chest tightly. 

“Don’t jump.”, you squeaked an embarrassingly high pitched sound at the sudden voice piping up behind you, whirled around to see the very reason for your decision to stay, standing behind you, watching you with those clear, bright red eyes. While his mien remained impassive, his eyes were not, they flickered back and forth between you and the rail of the balcony, something very close to distress flaring alive in them. You lowered your chin to your chest to hide the tiredness marring your face, the sudden wetness in your eyes. You were a grown up man, there was no reason to cry over a bit of homesickness. Forcing a smile on your lips, you made sure your voice was cheerful and light.

“Whatever gave you that idea, Noel?”, you didn’t know if it worked but you weren’t too optimistic about it, because he shuffled closer towards you, suddenly taking your hand with an iron grip. At first, you thought he merely wanted to pull you back inside, but when he did not move at all, just remained silent and still at your side, watching the clouds with narrowed eyes, you couldn’t help the soft, breathy sob that escaped your mouth. You felt his gaze on you, heavy and prodding, as his analytical mind tried to dissect you, to find the reason for your hurt so that he could chase it away with his knives and blunt logic. But some things just didn’t follow logic’s clear pattern. “I am fine.”

“If you are, then why are you crying?”, you chuckled dryly at his childlike question, before hiding your eyes with your free hand, if he could not see, he would not ask, so you believed. But he still held onto your hand, warm and steady, refusing to let go as you gently tugged at your fingers caught in his, before giving up. You could feel the tickle of your own eyelashes against your palm, painting wet patterns with each flutter onto your skin. “You said you wanted to stay, are you not happy?”

“Oh, I am. But sometimes the heart wants what it can’t get.”, sometimes you found talking to Noel hard, very hard. Because how were you supposed to hide your heart’s desire when he appeared to be looking straight into your very soul? When he sometimes spoke out loud what you were thinking. He had gotten back his memories, great, and he was getting better with emotions, both his own and others, but that did not help you at all. Quite the opposite, observant as he was, it would only be a matter of time before he found the locked door in your heart, behind which you hid all the love in the world for him. “It’s hard to describe.”

For a long time, he just stayed silent, lost in thought as he stared out onto the clouds, giving you more than enough time to finally get a grip on yourself, to dry your tears and subtly wipe your eyes with a corner of the blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Noel was a good person, you believed with all your heart, and the girl who would end up with him was going to be the luckiest in the world. You accepted that and would watch happily from the sidelines, playing the supportive brother for the rest of your life if necessary. 

“You said before that you love me like family.”, even though he spoke softly, low in tone and surprisingly gentle, you flinched, hard. Because he had done it again, spoken out loud what you had just decided to do in your mind. No wonder he was so good at doing Mikael’s dirty work, he was downright psychic. The homesickness that had plagued you before suddenly tenfolded and started to weigh you down,turning you into Atlas as he struggled to keep the world balanced on his bent back. “But I don’t.”

Ouch. Noel certainly wasn’t pulling any punches, not with you nor with anyone else. All you could do was not to grimace as he suddenly turned his sharp gaze away from the clouds towards you. Was he blaming you for something? Then why was he still holding your hand? Tampering down this poisonous, vicious seed of hope about to take root in your heart was becoming harder with each passing second. Deep breaths, you reminded yourself, in and out, pause, repeat. 

“I don’t like the way Cara acts around you.”, oh yes. Cara. General of the angel army and one eyed slut queen. She was certainly not taking any prisoners. You had your run ins with her, in the beginning you weren’t even sure if she wanted to take you to bed or strangle the life out of you. Maybe a mixture of both. No wonder Mikael was constantly snapping at her if he had to endure her obnoxious behavior all around the clock. But why was Noel bringing her up now? At your questioning sound he only frowned, looking down and to the side while twisting his mouth into a downwards curl, as if he had just tasted something bitter. “I don’t like it when Mikael is taking up your time as well.”

Now it was Mikael as well? At this point your heart was beating all the way up to your throat, you could feel its vibrations making your teeth clatter softly. And the weight just kept pressing down on you. 

“We are not family”, where was he going with this, you wondered. Maybe Noel didn’t knew it either, because he stopped speaking entirely, glaring accusingly at you while his grip around your fingers tightened to an almost painful degree. Oh, he was furious, maybe that was payback for making him think you were about to throw yourself off your balcony. For making him worry by crying in front of him. “I don’t know this feeling. It’s very unpleasant.”

“Hm. Try describing it?”, you opted for this old game between the two of you, something that had become a familiar routine and something you found safety in. You were waiting, patiently, as he struggled to find the right words. But when he did, your breath became short and the steady drum of your heart worsened. 

“When Cara tried to kiss you, I felt a fire burning me from the inside. I wanted to slit her throat, to cut her hands off for touching you like this.”, it always unsettled you just the tiniest of amounts whenever Noel talked this violently, he rarely did but when that happened, he was not holding back either. Who could have known that such a petite frame could hold such brutal rage? “And when Mikael kept pulling you away to talk about your world, about human things, I felt...all alone. I felt cold, like the sun was gone.”

“Is it because you wanted Cara’s or Mikael’s attention at the time?”, you asked carefully while feeling like a complete idiot. You were hopeful and this was killing you, because the way Noel shook his head almost instantly was only giving way to one conclusion. A dangerous one. “That sounds like jealousy to me, Noel. You were jealous of them, but there is no reason for it, I live here now, you have most of my time for yourself.”

“I don’t want most of it.”, oh Noel, you thought. Please stop talking like this, it’s really not good for my heart. A sharp tug on your hand and you stumbled, bent down to accommodate the difference of height between the two of you. Noel’s eyes and his lips were right in front of you, tempting and forbidden, your heart's yearning became louder and more unbearable the closer Noel came. “I want all of it. I want you.”

You wanted to protest, wanted to explain how this was just not possible, how he could not demand such a thing from you, but suddenly there were lips on your own, stealing the words from the tip of your tongue, the breath out of your lungs, agonized, you allowed your fluttering eyelids to fall shut, they closed with the sound of snowflakes falling. As you were about to become greedy, to reach for him, you felt his hand in your hair, holding on a little bit too tightly, strong enough to hurt in the sweetest of ways. The pain helped, as did the burning of your lungs as he finally gave you free, allowed you to move back to the smallest of distance but never once letting you out of sight. 

“This is dangerous, Noel.”, you warned him, voice low and husky, you could still taste him on the tip of your tongue, feel the pressure of his mouth against yours on your lips. Maybe he misunderstood your warning was a challenge, because he narrowed his eyes and glared at you, angrily and with an edge that bordered on possession. “For both of us.”

He didn’t answer with words, but the way he pulled you down once again was answer enough for you.


End file.
